much ado about pronouns

Why are we sharing pronouns?

You may notice someone’s email signature include a parenthetical following their name or title with some seemingly abstract terms and wonder what that’s all about. Some of the terms listed there are familiar (he/him/his, she/her/hers) and then there may be some that are not so straightforward or known to you (they/them/theirs, ze/zim/zir). What you are seeing is the individual’s sharing of their “pronouns,” meaning how they would like to be addressed or referred to in conversation or written correspondence.

The purpose of sharing one’s pronouns upfront is to attempt to avoid being mislabeled or disrespected, something that can often happen when a perpetrator is unaware of someone’s gender identity or has made assumptions about their gender expression.

Gender identity: how a person identifies internally, which may or may not align with their appearance, outside perception, or expression.

Gender expression: how a person “looks” or is perceived to appear, in association with the external culture’s assumption/socialization of gender roles and/or appearances. 

Sharing pronouns within introductions or email signatures takes the guesswork out of interactions and offers an inclusion-based psychological safe space for others to share their pronouns as well. Such an opportunity could help an individual feel validated and acknowledged in an experience where privileged cisgender persons rarely feel challenged or questioned.

At the same time, the sharing of pronouns without an explanation can have the unintended consequence of shaming someone who has not yet been introduced to the ins-and-outs of gender-related diversity and inclusion. We encourage curiosity and self-directed education, sharing resources where available, but also pushing everyone to challenge themselves to gain deeper understanding of unfamiliar ideas, concepts, and cultures.